Super Man JJ

This Just In From JJ Dufresne

i went into work at 8:30 am yesterday and left at 5:30 AM this morning. Now i came back at 11:00 am. 13 hours of overtime and about 4 hours of sleep. On the way back to work today my grandparents were floating outside the car eating ice cream and flipping me off. It's said that the beatles wrote "Lucy in the sky with diamonds" after an lsd hallucination. My song after sleep depreivation would be, "Maybelle in the sky with chocolate chip and a middle finger."

JJ Dufresne: A Man with a Moustache

JJ Tells Mamma Some Stuff

JJ got tagged by Mamma. She asked; he revealed.


FOUR SENTENCES I'VE NEVER SAID.

1. "Oh, Christ how I wish I had genital leprosy.

2. "Bestiality has its privileges."

3. "I adore and respect Paris Hilton."

4. "Go Packers!"



SONG TITLES THAT REFLECT HOW I'VE FELT THIS WEEK

1. Sunday morning coming down (I got Drink-Drank-DRUNK on Saturday).

2. The best of all possible worlds (if date goes well).

3. Only in Dreams (if date goes poorly).

4. Mary Jane's last dance (I'm all out).

5. We are the champions (it's been a good week).


WHAT I'D BE DOING ON A PERFECT DAY.

Well, it goes without saying that crash landing (in a field of cannabis) on a planet inhabited only by scantily clad, baby-oiled, hot and bothered teenaged girls would be a perfect day, so I'll say something less cliché.

Perfect day for me would be simple: Napping on the couch watching the football game with my infant daughter sleeping on my chest (with the bong and a beer nearby of course).

Administrators' Note: The image of an infant daughter sleeping on JJ's chest is especially dear because he doesn't have an infant daughter or an infant son. He does, however, have a hell cat named Marvin.


5 ROCK BAND NAMES I CAME UP WITH

1. The gerbil pipers.

2. The fuggers

3. Butt wart

4. Nincompoopery

5. Moist


I GET TO GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP 3 SONGS FROM BEING WRITTEN

1. "My heart will go on" - don't know who wrote it but dont care either. Just as long as i dont have to be exposed to any version.

2. "You don't bring me flowers" - barbra striesand and neil diamond. My brief research of babs said this was an early hit for her. I wanted to pick the song that shot her to fame and then get rid of it as soon as I stepped off the time machine. With any luck she'd get all despondent and throw herself and her big nose off the tallest building around. I only hope that my actions of getting rid of this song doesn’t hurt neil diamond's career though.

3. 'Big yellow taxi'-joni mitchel. I hate this song, I hate the melody and I hate each and every cover anyone or any band has ever sung. There is no reason to remake this song. It sucks, Period. but everyone from fucking Amy Grant to Cake has covered it. Why? I don’t get it.

JJ says, "Keep the questions coming."

JJ Dufresne: On His Yacht

JJ Dufresne Tells Maybelline Some Stuff

JJ Dufresne got tagged by Maybelline Jones. She asked; he revealed.

5 THINGS THAT GIVE YOU PHYSICAL PLEASURE

1.) Masturbation (I'd say 'sex' but i never have it so the big M is my answer).

2.) A good dump (and any fart anytime).

3.) A homosexual encounter with Mr. Bubble and a hot bath.

4.) A nap

5.) A good 2 mile run.


5 THINGS THAT BRING YOU IMMEDIATE ANGER

1.) Stupid leftist dorks (not all leftist dorks, just the stupid ones) who automatically assume those who lean to the right are all a bunch of xenophobic, Bible thumping, prudish, rich, racist bigots. Don't get me wrong, there are a bunch of those types on the right but a lot of us just want lower taxes and a smaller government.

2.) Stupid rightist dorks (not all rightist dorks, just the stupid ones) who call themselves conservative (by which i mean those who want less government intrusion) but think the government should intrude in people's personal lives and make same sex marriage and abortion illegal. Conservative philosophy 101 says that government should stay out of the way as much as possible. Well okay, then how the fuck do these rightist fucks justify wanting the government to barge into personal lives and deny individuals certain freedoms?

3.) Accessory (or toy) dogs and their owners. All dogs including but not limited to chihuahuas and pomeranians should have cigars extinguished in their eyeballs and be punted into a wood chipper (that goes for their owners as well). If you want a small dog like that just get a fucking guinea pig.

4.) ChoMos. Catholic priests and NAMBLA members and anyone who touches a kid in a sexual manner should have their balls nailed to the ground and be beaten unconscious with a tire iron and then wakened up by a red hot poker shoved up their butt (repeat process until the fucker is dead).

5.) Angelina Jolie (or Angie Voight as my brother calls her). Someone needs to stop that woman. Adopting kids is not a sport or a fad you stupid bitch.

5 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU AUTOMATICALLY HAPPY

1.) Pot.

2.) Hot, nasty sluts.

3.) Making people laugh (especially mom and dad).

4.) Getting off work early

5.) Pot.

5 THINGS THAT MAE YOU AUTOMATICALLY SAD

1.) Making mom cry.

2.) When people don't trust me (that could go in the 'mad' category as well).

3.) When the Twins or Vikes lose.

4.) When favorite actors die.

5.) when i'm out of pot.