JJ Dufresne Tells Maybelline Some Stuff

JJ Dufresne got tagged by Maybelline Jones. She asked; he revealed.

5 THINGS THAT GIVE YOU PHYSICAL PLEASURE

1.) Masturbation (I'd say 'sex' but i never have it so the big M is my answer).

2.) A good dump (and any fart anytime).

3.) A homosexual encounter with Mr. Bubble and a hot bath.

4.) A nap

5.) A good 2 mile run.


5 THINGS THAT BRING YOU IMMEDIATE ANGER

1.) Stupid leftist dorks (not all leftist dorks, just the stupid ones) who automatically assume those who lean to the right are all a bunch of xenophobic, Bible thumping, prudish, rich, racist bigots. Don't get me wrong, there are a bunch of those types on the right but a lot of us just want lower taxes and a smaller government.

2.) Stupid rightist dorks (not all rightist dorks, just the stupid ones) who call themselves conservative (by which i mean those who want less government intrusion) but think the government should intrude in people's personal lives and make same sex marriage and abortion illegal. Conservative philosophy 101 says that government should stay out of the way as much as possible. Well okay, then how the fuck do these rightist fucks justify wanting the government to barge into personal lives and deny individuals certain freedoms?

3.) Accessory (or toy) dogs and their owners. All dogs including but not limited to chihuahuas and pomeranians should have cigars extinguished in their eyeballs and be punted into a wood chipper (that goes for their owners as well). If you want a small dog like that just get a fucking guinea pig.

4.) ChoMos. Catholic priests and NAMBLA members and anyone who touches a kid in a sexual manner should have their balls nailed to the ground and be beaten unconscious with a tire iron and then wakened up by a red hot poker shoved up their butt (repeat process until the fucker is dead).

5.) Angelina Jolie (or Angie Voight as my brother calls her). Someone needs to stop that woman. Adopting kids is not a sport or a fad you stupid bitch.

5 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU AUTOMATICALLY HAPPY

1.) Pot.

2.) Hot, nasty sluts.

3.) Making people laugh (especially mom and dad).

4.) Getting off work early

5.) Pot.

5 THINGS THAT MAE YOU AUTOMATICALLY SAD

1.) Making mom cry.

2.) When people don't trust me (that could go in the 'mad' category as well).

3.) When the Twins or Vikes lose.

4.) When favorite actors die.

5.) when i'm out of pot.