JJ Tells Mamma Some Stuff

JJ got tagged by Mamma. She asked; he revealed.


FOUR SENTENCES I'VE NEVER SAID.

1. "Oh, Christ how I wish I had genital leprosy.

2. "Bestiality has its privileges."

3. "I adore and respect Paris Hilton."

4. "Go Packers!"



SONG TITLES THAT REFLECT HOW I'VE FELT THIS WEEK

1. Sunday morning coming down (I got Drink-Drank-DRUNK on Saturday).

2. The best of all possible worlds (if date goes well).

3. Only in Dreams (if date goes poorly).

4. Mary Jane's last dance (I'm all out).

5. We are the champions (it's been a good week).


WHAT I'D BE DOING ON A PERFECT DAY.

Well, it goes without saying that crash landing (in a field of cannabis) on a planet inhabited only by scantily clad, baby-oiled, hot and bothered teenaged girls would be a perfect day, so I'll say something less cliché.

Perfect day for me would be simple: Napping on the couch watching the football game with my infant daughter sleeping on my chest (with the bong and a beer nearby of course).

Administrators' Note: The image of an infant daughter sleeping on JJ's chest is especially dear because he doesn't have an infant daughter or an infant son. He does, however, have a hell cat named Marvin.


5 ROCK BAND NAMES I CAME UP WITH

1. The gerbil pipers.

2. The fuggers

3. Butt wart

4. Nincompoopery

5. Moist


I GET TO GO BACK IN TIME AND STOP 3 SONGS FROM BEING WRITTEN

1. "My heart will go on" - don't know who wrote it but dont care either. Just as long as i dont have to be exposed to any version.

2. "You don't bring me flowers" - barbra striesand and neil diamond. My brief research of babs said this was an early hit for her. I wanted to pick the song that shot her to fame and then get rid of it as soon as I stepped off the time machine. With any luck she'd get all despondent and throw herself and her big nose off the tallest building around. I only hope that my actions of getting rid of this song doesn’t hurt neil diamond's career though.

3. 'Big yellow taxi'-joni mitchel. I hate this song, I hate the melody and I hate each and every cover anyone or any band has ever sung. There is no reason to remake this song. It sucks, Period. but everyone from fucking Amy Grant to Cake has covered it. Why? I don’t get it.

JJ says, "Keep the questions coming."