An Amendment About His Tastes in Women

Forget what I said about slutty girls.

J.J. Dufresne's mother might not like slutty girls and she might be very sad if J.J. ever took up with one, but J.J. Dufresne really, really likes slutty girls. He'd prefer, of course, to have a Real Woman—one who could cook a killer meatloaf, one who would laugh at all his fart jokes, one who would smile and put her hands in his floppy hair, one who might, someday, sing their children to sleep—but those women are in short supply. J.J. Dufresne cannot find a Real Woman to save his life.

So he will take a slutty girl in the place of something more substantial.

J.J. Dufresne likes a girl he can meet in a bar, charm with a few stories about his life as a clerk in Washington D.C., and then take home. Once he gets them home, that's when J.J. will put down his best lines. He will show off his smoothest moves. He will offer the girl a beer or a cigarette, and then they will get naked.

Once, J.J. Dufresne told me a story about one of these slutty girls. He took her home. He got her in bed. She was going about her slutty business and doing her God's honest best on J.J.'s man parts, but J.J. wasn't having it. He didn't like her technique. He was feeling antsy. He'd brought this girl home with one goal in mind: complete and total satisfaction. What she was doing, however, didn't feel like it would ever come near complete and total satisfaction. But then the girl stopped her slutty business. She put her cheek on J.J.'s thigh. She rested.

Although J.J. wasn't a fan of her technique, he wasn't going to have the whole night be for nothing. J.J. Dufresne does not like a woman who quits. So, J.J. Dufresne reached down, took his man part up in his hand, and whapped the slutty girl on the cheek with it.

"I just wanted to wake her up a little bit," J.J. Dufresne explains when I look at him, horrified. "Come on, she needed a little something."